January - Personal Power

~ January was all about finding and cultivating my personal power ~

(If this is your first time joining me - you can read about the purpose of this blog in my first post.)

I started the month of January by reading Awakening Shakti. Gah. I can't even begin to explain.... This book is now at the top of my list: "Books Every Woman Should Read". Total game changer. I mean, I had never even considered what my personal power was/is, let alone ways to nourish it. I was floppy toast and spoiled nut butter - a total mess. Yikes. I highly doubt this book will ever leave my bookshelves. Shakti is, of course, the sacred feminine, and the book is all about the personifications of Shakti (Lakshmi, Kali, Durga....) and how to tap into them yourself. E. helped with the process by having some exercises for us to do involving the content in the book.

Once I learned of/about my personal power, my biggest two "actions" to support that power were; witnessing myself, and releasing other people. Releasing the need to be seen as I really am, but also witnessing myself as I really am. 

Witnessing myself was such a huge eye-opener!! Over this year I was really (finally) able to dissect some of my deepest inner struggles, and find ways to overcome them. I can absolutely say that my attitude, anxiety, and general opinion of myself are 100% more positive than before I started witnessing myself. Such a simple (but complex) concept - and one that I had not really grasped before (even though it was explained to me a million times prior). *eye rolls for days*

How does one "witness" yourself/what is witnessing yourself? Witnessing is another level of consciousness. The Witness, coexists alongside your normal everyday consciousness. The witnessing allows you to center yourself, and observe, unattached. So, say I'm at home, and I get an unexpected bill in the mail, or some emergency happens. Immediately my anxiety flares, I start to worry, I start having negative emotions and a negative response. Pretty common, right? Witnessing means: I simply take a minute to tap into my Witness, and witness/observe what is happening - what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, the actual situation - without judgement on myself. And usually, that's all it takes to change the entire situation, and my response to it - just a moment or two to take in all that I'm experiencing, and how I'm reacting. Ram Dass has spoken extensively about witnessing.  I recommend checking out anything he has written, or any of his podcasts! The man is total gold. (And I think I'm safe in saying he's my husband's guru. Haha) It sounds far more complicated that it is... at least it did for me, for years! Haha - but once you get it, you just have to remember to do it.

This month E. mentioned "You are only going to be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those weighing you down." Sounds harsh, but I've found it to be completely true! Over the years I have had to let quite a few people go from my life. Some have drifted back in, but my interactions and relationships with them are entirely different from before. And that's perfectly fine! Sometimes you need to let go of a person because of how they treat you, and sometimes you need to let go of a person because of how you treat yourself because of them. Often the lines are blurred. How you let go of a person is up to you. No one can tell you (should tell you) how to live your "one wild and precious life" (Mary Oliver). You are in control of your own life, and that includes who is a part of your life. So, surround yourself with those that encourage you to be your best self! Ditch those jerks. Set boundaries, and don't apologize for it. This is your life, your journey.

Another really important element for me from this month was the concept of Preya vs. Shreya from the Upanishads (I read the Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran). Preya is basically that which is pleasant, but probably not beneficial in the long run, and Shreya is that which is beneficial, but probably not instantly gratifying, maybe not even pleasant. (Think about how weight loss can be.... nothing instant about that, but it is delayed gratification.) There really is just sooo much good stuff in the Upanishads, but the whole Preya vs Shreya made such a difference in my life.

I also read Marrow by Elizabeth Lesser  this month. It had me crying a number of times. In the end (because I'm a bit of a minimalist) it was one book I passed on to someone else, and didn't keep, but I think it is one that more women should read, and I share it because it is really good. It is about love, and loss, and what matters most.

Reading and knitting... 

This Conversation with Jewel  was also shared - she has some really great perspectives on personal power, and life! (I actually have her book on my wishlist!) "I know how much people struggle to feel the healing and the internal permission needed to become an architect of your own life, instead of the backseat driver of one you were born into. I believe there are every-day solutions that can help other people find peace of mind and live an extraordinary life." Oh I love!

I also set up mini-altars all over my house (see last blog post), established a meditation practice, found my spirit animal and created an alter-ego, you know, everyday stuff. Ha ha ;)

But, probably the most profound thing I did this month was to participate in a satellite Women's March on Washington. I totally understand how this event was a (is a?) controversial topic, but I only mention it because of what it meant for me. Of course, I have *lots* of reasons for going, but personally - it was a breakthrough event. I am a HSP/introvert/empath. ANY type of march or protest is not something that I run towards. But in embracing my inner power, I was able to go, and I am so proud of having done so - it gave me the courage to do so many more things this year. What can you do to break free of your own limitations? What is something that you can do to challenge and awaken your personal power?

Whew. That's a lot of stuff right? But for me - what I've written here is just a small portion of what January actually held. Remember when I said this year was an intense personal journey? I really meant it when I said intense. :) But it really is all so very good. I'm sharing because I feel if more people could learn the things that I have learned, we might all be more excellent to each other.

**I also wanted to mention - I know I've been linking all the books on Amazon - this is really just for simplicity! I highly recommend checking out books from the library, or buying used!! My favorite site for buying used books is abebooks.com**

I'll not be posting another blog post until after the Solstice, as I'm taking a bit of a social media break to really spend some unbroken time with my family. So, wishing you some Happy Holidays! Until later, love and light ~ K